


i won't say i'm in love

by ollie_cannoli



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, inconsistent updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:22:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28699848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ollie_cannoli/pseuds/ollie_cannoli
Summary: erwin took you in when he found you on his doorstep, bundled in thin clothes. raised as his daughter, you have been spoiled endlessly and yet still raised with moral values that tend to make people think you are air-headed, same as your adoptive father. one day you're living life freely, reading books and riding horses in the gardens, next thing you know, your betrothed to a man nearly twice your age, and maybe old enough to be your father. levi ackerman. you aren't particularly fond of him, especially knowing how rude he could be but you know marrying him is what your father believes is best for you. you are willing to do what it takes to make him proud, even if it means marrying a man you don't love despite having possibly finding love with a dear friend of yours.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Reader, Eren Yeager/Reader, Erwin Smith & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader, Mikasa Ackerman/Reader
Kudos: 4





	i won't say i'm in love

**Author's Note:**

> okay so recently i watched howls moving castle and absolutely sobbed at the realization that i will never have a fairy-tale life that i so long for. its pathetic, really, and i realize that, but with that, i have decided to write something with the same grandiose that i have been imagining for forever. there will be many typos so keep that in mind. also, it feels weird, but i made nearly every other scout one of erwin's servants (besides levi, for the story's convenience). yes, the age gap is dramatic, but i only made it so the reluctance in your decision seems to make more sense, but you'll see that later on
> 
> the only warnings i have that will go throughout this work are: afab reader, cursing, and mild violence. if any of these change, i will include warnings on other chapters, but for now, this is all i have planned for this work.

the wind howled dramatically, scaring young children in their homes, making them believe the monsters under their beds had finally made their presence known. for the adults in town, the wind did nothing but irritate them, knowing they would have to tidy their yards and paths in the morning. for one adult in particular, the wind was a blessing. for this adult, the wind was covering their tracks, keeping their true destination hidden from those who may be watching. the wind also helped to push them in the right direction, as though whatever higher power is out there was on their side, aiding them in their quest.

as the cloaked figure approached a grand door belonging to the smith estate, they gently placed the child on the doorstep. the figure had heard of the smith's kindness, and could only hope they would have the room to accept an abandoned child into their pristine home. they swept some wisps of hair away from the child's face, a final act of love and kindness toward their child. the figure knew their life had no room for a child, at least not now, maybe not ever. their life was far too dark and dismal for the purity and brightness that which children possess. and so, here they found the fate of their child. they left a single token with the child, that which they would remember them by, even if there was no face to go with it. the token was a simple pendant with an quote engraved along the backside. it was a gift to the figure, and now it is a gift to the child.

with one last look at the precious child, they knocked on the door, loud enough for it to have woken somebody, or at least alerted a servant if there were any awake at this time. as they walked away into the darkness, they paused, wanting to get one last look at the poor thing swaddled in dirty and thin cloths. shaking their head, they continued on. if they took one more look, they knew they wouldn't be able to let them go. the darkness soon swallowed the cloaked figure, now far from where anybody could detect them.

the grand doors to the estate opened for a moment as a butler or servant of some sort peered out, looking for the source of the knock from earlier. seeing no person in the immediate area, he turned, ready to close the door until a small noise caught his attention. fearing the worst, he looked down to find a small child. with a frown, he reached down and picked it up, inspecting it curiously. the man finally turned back into the grand home, closing the door behind him as he brought the child in. he knew erwin would want to know about this, and delicately cradled the baby as he quickly made his way to his study, knowing he would still be awake at this time.

he knocked on the door to erwin's study and when a muffled invitation came from the other side, he entered carefully. nervously, he looked up to erwin's face, only to find him burying himself in paperwork and hadn't even looked up to see who had knocked. when he finally did look up, however, he was startled to say the least. for a moment, he didn't know what to say, the shock taking the words right from his mouth. "why have you brought a child to my study?"

the servant frowned. "this baby was left on our doorstep, i am only assuming somebody intends for us to take them in. they can't be much older than a few days, judging from their smell."

"i don't mind taking in a child, but we don't have any of the necessary tools. and i will need the estate baby-proofed, i suppose. we should plan to leave tomorrow to purchase what we need." erwin stated with a small smile. "let me see the child."

the servant gently passed the baby to erwin, who gently cradled them with that same smile on his face. "i have a feeling having them will drastically improve the mood around the estate."

"i agree. shall i prepare a room for the child?" the servant asked.

erwin smiled. "no, i think i can care for the child on my own for the rest of the night, thank you. you may rest now, miche."

the servant nodded and left the room without another word, leaving erwin alone with the suspiciously quiet baby. he smiled again and bounced the baby on his leg. "i suppose we should get you cleaned up properly and to bed straight away."

the baby smiled and made incoherent noises, as if trying to hold a conversation with the tall blond man. he chuckled to himself as he stood and made his way to the bathroom connected to his study. as soon as the baby was clean and wrapped in a clean cloth (he didn't have any baby clothes of course), he set her down on his bed where he soon lay next to her, falling into a deep slumber.

~~~

fast-forward four years and you are now a happy little girl, living a life more grand than anybody could have imagined for a child who had been abandoned. each day was different from the last, as there was always something to be done. on some days, you practiced playing a beautiful harp. on other days, your father found the time to play with you in the gardens, often trying to teach you about the flowers that grew there, though you often forgot, your head filled with fuzzy images of a woman you saw in your dreams. on other days, you went for strolls in the city with miche, who was erwin's butler and good friend.

so you see, each day was different, and yet the same. you had no concept of time or schedules unless it came to tea-time or nap-time, where you'd find yourself in your fathers lap, despite him telling you the bed would be more comfortable. that's why you were so surprised when a young man, maybe 16 or so, had come to the estate for business with your father. the whole day, you were locked from your father's room, sitting and waiting in the room adjacent. a few times, you were sure you heard the young man shouting vulgarities at your father. the situation was weird to you.

who was this man? why won't your father introduce you? why won't he let you in? when you had finally had enough, you stomped into the gardens, searching for miche, hoping he would give you some sort of answer. you found him near the back, tending to white carnations. "miche? who is that man talking to father? why is he so angry?"

"he is levi ackerman. he is a noble from someplace not too far from here. i'm not sure why he's so angry, but perhaps you can ask him yourself." miche smiled down at you. he had always loved you, in a sort of way an older brother would a baby sister.

you huffed. "i don't like him. he scares me."

"you shouldn't fear him, (y/n). he is the same as us, just a little cold. perhaps he is rude, but he would never hurt you." miche squatted down to your height, smiling again and he pat your head. "besides, if he does hurt you, you have me and everybody else here to protect you from him."

at that, you smiled and hugged him before stepping away. "maybe i will ask him, then." and you walked back inside the manor, running a hand along the walls as you walked until you spotted a familiar pair of boots.

your head shot up and your eyes widened as a smile took over your features. "father! i haven't seen you all day!" you cried, jumping into his arms.

he smiled and laughed before resting you on his hip. "(y/n), there is somebody i would like you to meet." he gestured to the young man from before, and your eyes narrowed. "this is levi ackerman. he is set to be your husband on some day far from now, when you are old enough to marry."

"but he's so much older than me..." you frowned. "and he doesn't look very nice." you whispered into your father's ear, which he laughed at, only because levi had so obviously heard you, and his frown had deepened.

"i assure you, he is kinder than he appears. and when you are older, his age will mean nothing to you." he smiled, but you weren't convinced.

levi rolled his eyes before holding his hand out. reluctantly, you placed your much smaller hand in his and he raised it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles. "it's so very nice to meet you (y/n)."

you hummed for a moment, trying to decide if you should show him any kindness after the way he was yelling at your father only moments ago. "it's nice to meet you as well. father? may i go to my room now?"

erwin nodded his head before setting you down and watching as your skirts bounced with each step. "precious, isn't she?"

"she's a doll. now, remind me when i must return?" levi stated, though it didn't seem so sincere. perhaps he had his own reservations regarding the marriage.

erwin's smile fell, and his face looked more stern and serious than before. "by her 17th birthday, you are to return. we will be holding a ball. your main objective is ensuring she will be happy with you. while you may be the most desirable young noble, it would put my mind at ease to know you will make her happy."

~~~

the day of your 17th birthday came quicker than you ever could have imagined, and that day with levi was nothing more than a day you couldn't remember by now. all those years spent studying, refining your skills, and maturing were now nearly coming to a close. each day, you wrote to your dear friends eren, mikasa, and armin about the approaching ball and how they simply must attend, as it wouldn't be much of a birthday without them. you had met them some years ago when your father had taken the liberty of allowing you to go into the nearby village on your own. you had met the three of them while you were on your way to a nearby duck pond, and now you were closer than you could have ever imagined. you never really found any reason to not befriend them, even if other wealthy people frowned down on you for it. you could only imagine the treatment you would get if they knew you weren't actually of noble blood, not that you really cared anyway.

anyway, you woke with a start when miche knocked on your door, informing you of the current time and wishing you a happy birthday. quickly, you sat up, rushing to get ready. you ignored the knots in your corset laces and pulled on one of your favorite gown before rushing into your attached bathroom to brush your teeth. sitting in front of your vanity with a wide smile, something churned in your stomach and you couldn't decide if it was good or bad. you just knew something about today was different. something was going to happen, and whatever it was, you welcomed it with open arms. quickly, and maybe a little too sloppily, you did your hair, trying to make it look presentable before putting on an appropriate amount of makeup for the day. slipping on some shoes, you rushed out of your room with a wide smile. you ran out so quickly, you nearly bumped into miche who had come by to check in on you.

"oh! sorry miche! big day, you know? i have to go see my friends in town before-"

"before what?" erwin asked from behind you, which nearly sent you into cardiac arrest.

you jumped and turned around, eyes wide. "oh- father. good morning. did you sleep well."

"not quite. it isn't everyday your only daughter turns 17, you know. there is much to do today." he smiled. "back to what you were saying. you said you wanted to see your friends in town before...?"

you laughed nervously, scratching your cheek to seem more normal, which definitely didn't help. "oh, that? i was just saying it would be nice to see them before you could tell me to stay here."

"so what i'm gathering is, you were going to practically sneak out just so you could see your friends on your birthday?" he smiled. "you can see them, but just be back before lunch. you know they will be attending the ball tonight anyway, so don't burn yourself out."

you slouched. "oh, okay. i'll just- oh wait, are you serious?"

he nodded his head, but before he could get another word out, you went rushing past him and out the front door. he sighed to himself before saying,"she's going to ruin that dress if she keeps running like that." to which miche only laughed before continuing with his work.

you ran all the way through the town, smiling the whole way as you went. slipping past a few people and barely managing an apology, you spotted your friends sitting by the river as usual. you called out to them, and they turned with small smiles of their own. eren was the first to stand, then mikasa and armin. as you slowed to a simple strolling pace to catch your breath, youru friends came jogging to you.

eren smiled and pulled you in for a hug, wishing you a happy birthday before pulling away and allowing the others to hug you. armin's hug was so sweet and warm, it was as if you were being hugged by a brother you never had. mikasa's hug was short and sweet, but the strength behind it was comforting. you smiled and took a deep breath. 

"well, are you guys ready for tonight?" you asked, practically buzzing with excitement.

mikasa smiled and nodded her head, eren shouted an enthusiastic "hell yeah", and armin admitted he was a little nervous to be hanging around so many wealthy people. 

"well if you guys are worried about clothes, you can always come by a little sooner than everybody else and we can do makeovers!" at this, mikasa seemed to brighten a little bit.

"do you have purple dresses?" she asked shyly, turning away and twirling a strand of hair.

you smiled. "of course i do! we can even do something with your hair for tonight, too! oh, there's too many hairstyles that would look good on you, how could we possibly pick just one..."

eren and armin seemed too shy to admit they wanted to be included, so you turned to them. "do you guys have any colors in mind? i can ask miche if we have any extras, but my father's clothes definitely wont fit either of you." you giggled.

they didn't seem to have thought that far ahead, as wheels were obviously turning in their heads. you laughed again and took a good look at them. "i'd say green for eren... maybe blue for armin... right mikasa?"

she nodded her head with a smile, tugging her scarf closer to her face. eren and armin blushed lightly under your's and mikasa's gaze, but they tried to pretend it was nothing.

~~~

an hour or so later, you had the trio come over for their makeovers, much to your fathers surprise, but since they had already arrived, he couldn't quite scold you besides reminding you that you should let him know when they are visiting. smiling, you walked by him, hand in hand with mikasa, leading her to your room as you told the boys to wait with your father. in your room, you led her to the bathroom after she said she would like to take a quick bath before dressing. you ran the water for her and told her you would be back after getting the boys their clothes and such.

after you closed the door, you rushed back to the room you had left eren and armin in, only to find them sitting stiffly as your father sat, leaning forward as though he was threatening them somehow. you called the boys over, and when they saw you, they visibly relaxed, rushing to you after wishing your father a nice rest of his afternoon. smiling, you grabbed their hands and led them to a room near your own with another bathroom attached in case they wanted to bathe as well. you already had the suits set on the beds for them, and they seemed to be surprised by how grand they looked. you assured them they would look just liked princes as you left, reminding them that you would be back once mikasa was dressed.

as you returned back to your room, you began pulling out the purple gowns you had that you thought mikasa would like, laying them neatly on your bed. after that, you began pulling out all the brushed and pins you were sure you would need for her hair. as you sat, waiting for her to emerge from the bathroom, looking over your own appearance. frowning, you noticed your dress had picked up some dirt as you ran through town. deciding you needed to change and maybe spruce up your hair a bit, your thoughts were cut short when mikasa exited the bathroom with a fluffy towel wrapped around her body. you smiled and approached her before handing her some undergarments. 

"i have a corset here as well, but you'll probably need help with it, so i'll wait for you to dress first. take your time." you smiled.

she thanked you, taking the garments before stepping back into the bathroom. moments later, she stepped out again with a nervous smile. "are those for me?"

"yeah! i picked out the prettiest purple ones i have for you to choose from." you smiled as you gestured to your bed where you had set the dresses to lay.

stepping closer, her eyes widened when she saw the close-up detail of some of the dresses. "i must say, i am a bit overwhelmed. they're all so pretty."

"i can help you pick, if you'd like?" you offered.

she nodded her head with wide eyes. "please."

when she was finally dressed, you had lead her to the vanity to sit so you could fix up her hair a bit. once that was done, she offered to help you get ready as well. she helped tie your corset properly after taking out all the knots in the laces and even picked out a dress for you. the whole time, the both of you were giggling and having fun. it was nice to spend time with another girl without the boys around. that's not to say you don't love them the same, but sometimes it's better to be around another girl. your whole life, you'd been surrounded by men, never once having a female figure in your life up until you met mikasa. she was the sister you wish you could have grown up with.

as the both of you smiled when leaving the room, you lead her to the room you had left the boys in. from the other side of the door, you could hear the boys talking. with a small knock, you heard the boys stumbling to get to the door. eren was the one to open the door, and when he did, you froze in shock. both of them looked so good. eren had slicked his hair back with a few rebellious strands falling down his forehead. armin had the top half of his hair tied up and the bottom half left down, probably too short to be pulled up with the rest of the hair. as you looked them over, you felt your face begin to burn slightly. mikasa slipped past you and into the room to tell armin how good he looked, and he began complimenting her on her new hairstyle as well. the both of them were gushing over the other and doing little twirls to get the whole picture. eren and you however, had stayed at the door. eren seemed to be surprised by how beautiful you were, despite having seen you dress this way for a few years now. as for you, you were always aware of eren's natural beauty, but with his hair swept away from his face and the bright green vest that seemed to fit perfectly complimenting his eyes, you couldn't tear your gaze away from him. 

he smiled bashfully. "oh, come on, (y/n), i can't look that good. i'm sure a bunch of the nobles tonight will look better than i do."

"don't sell yourself short, eren. i'd be willing to bet that a few younger noblewomen will have their eye on you." you complimented, before forcing yourself to look away from him and enter the room to begin complimenting armin. he was just as, if not more, bashful than eren, insisting he didn't know what he was doing with his hair. you smiled and assured him that he looked great. for the rest of the afternoon, the four of you stayed in that room, having fun and waiting for the real fun to begin.


End file.
